Variety Show

Elvis serenades
Memories of yesterday
Unbroken hips swing

Sometimes you find yourself in unexpected situations experiencing glorious displays of American kitsch and piles of pork sausage.

I woke at 3 AM to catch a 4 AM carpool to the airport for a 6 AM flight to Milwaukee via Detroit. It was cold, wet, and I had only gone to bed at midnight so I was a bit punchy already. My colleagues, a student, and I were going to visit a 120 yr old family sausage company to say thank you for a scholarship donation among other things. The night of our arrival they had proudly arranged for us to be honored guests at a local family restaurant, The Fireside Theatre, which boasts, "The Midwest’s best combination of fine dining and professional theatre. Broadway musicals cast from New York talent."

That night we entered a bright pink, dollhouse-like hallway that lead to the main restaurant that seated 1275 and had faux vines weaving around staircases that led to various dining areas. The owner and our host stopped at our table to share his family history, restaurant concept, and faith. Enlightened, we chose our feast at the buffet and once our bellies were taut with sticky sweet mounds of orange mash and several variations of deep fried meat, we headed in to watch the show, "The best of the 50s and 60s." Soon our host was guiding the audience through twenty years of pop history with a radio-ready, professional voice and well practiced routine of variety show stunts, games, and comedy. As he introduced each tune, the orchestra in the center of stage would magically rise from the pit to take the lead, then fall as dancers and singers would perform in colorful new costumes each set. The Beatles, Patsy Cline, Elvis Presley, and many more artists were resurrected for our entertainment. At one point, our host appeared in old-lady drag and ran across the stage in a glee of lust after one of the stars. Recalling the days of Ed Sullivan, he pulled giddy audience members on stage for a game of beanbag toss and the chance to win THE BIG PRIZE. Looking around it seemed most of the audience were being taken back to their youth. Most were elderly; likely this was a stop on their casino tour. It was hard not to clap, swing, sing, and tap to the familiar oldies but goodies. At 10:30 that night, we finally headed to our hotel for the night. I was feverish with exhaustion and made silly by the night's activity.

The variety show continued the next morning but in a new form. The family we were visiting took us on a tour of their pork processing plant and after seeing exactly what cool innovations kept the business thriving--like seemingly knowing machines that expertly removed boxes stuffed with sausage links--we headed to the kitchen for a tasting of their finest products. At least 20 different types of sausage were piled onto each of our plates for a sampling. Comparisons and ingredient identification ensued before "it's time for lunch" was announced. Our eyes grew wide along with our hips. At the end of the day, we were sent off to the airport with a bag of goodies including pig key chains that oink, a pig tape measure (you pull the tongue which is the ruler), a stuffed "pig" animal designed to honor one of the elder family members (one of a series), and many, many, MANY, more thoughtful gifts to help us remember our visit. A food coma took over two of my group and another fell fast asleep on the airport floor while waiting for our flight. I wonder if he dreamed a little dream . . .

I feel less stuffed having hiked each day since my return home. Elvis and pork are off the menu for a while. I am in a familiar coffee shop with students from Vassar who have stayed behind for Spring Break. Today is a holiday for me too although the need to prepare for work tomorrow keeps resurfacing. I am sub-teaching ESL tonight and am unprepared but I think I can wing it ok. Nora Jones is cooing in the background.